Your present cost a lot of dough
And so we all pitched in, you know
The way we sometimes always do
To buy a great big thing for you.

(and Minda put it on the line
to make sure it arrived in time
and everyone has paid or still
is dodging it, with well-honed skill.)

Of course, the biggest question was
Does she need this? Of course she does!
But does she really need it so?
And if she needs it, does she know?
Just what would be a big surprise
To fill a need we knew would rise?
Or what could we give you, that certainly must
Raise your lifestyle, right up to ‘upper crust’.

We scratched and scratched our tired heads
And wore out all our pencil leads
From brainstorming, and writing down
The things on which you wouldn’t frown
We wanted the best thing of all
We didn’t loaf; we didn’t stall
We wouldn’t give up till we found
The very bestest thing around.

We tried to find what you’d want most
The thing of which to friends you’d boast
We scoured the land from coast to coast
And finding it, proposed a toast:
“To Leah - however old she is -
If she won’t admit it, it’s nobody’s biz,
May the rest of her years be as happy as sin,
Wherever she’s going, wherever she’s been,
As she travels this world full of heavens and hells,
May her home be chock full of most wonderful smells.”

This thing, on which we’d all agreed
Undoubtedly that you would knead
Is hidden (or it’s supposed to be)
Behind the only door you see.

Happy Birthday!

(it was a bread machine - if you didn't notice all the bread puns, read it again)