This certificate entitles the holder, or bearer

Or owner, possessor, redeemer, or wearer

To one trip for two on the good ship Outrageous

The best ride we've heard of in these parts, in ages!

This trip cruises Willamette, Columbia too

It's a little bit thrill, and a whole lot of view

And from what I hear, tidbits of history ensue

So the tour guide will 'splain it all 'specially for you!

The whole thing is four hours: from downtown you'll ride

You'll see all of the bridges from quite a new side

And keep going to where, if there's no traffic jam

The Columbia Gorge meets the Bonneville Dam!

So this all will take place near the start of July

If I'm speaking the truth, and I tell you no lie

As a way for us kids to say thanks, in a way

To two heckuva moms, on this motherly day.